The Dreaded Fear of Vulnerability

We are all guilty of withholding information at the cost of being vulnerable. People often do not like to reveal the truth about their feelings. The act of being vulnerable allows for unsaid feelings to be brought to light. This can often create conflict in places or even the unsettling feeling of rejection. It doesn’t feel good, so we avoid it and prolong it in hopes that things will change.

But, with no conversation, there is no resolution or closure. Despite how much it can hurt to be vulnerable or be rejected in situations, there are also no regrets. There aren’t unsaid feelings or lack of closure or even tension. No matter what the situation is.

We are all human. And as much as we’d like to avoid being hurt or feeling bad, it is the price of the human condition. Without anger, sadness, rejection, we don’t get the good feelings.

When someone close to us hurts us, in many ways we want to brush off whatever they said or did to avoid the conversation of opening up feelings. Yet, that only creates a build-up of emotions that are on ticking time bomb of being exploded in the worst possible moment.

Opening up can be scary, yes, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right choice. We often find ourselves taking the easier route, only to find it much more difficult later on. Rather than hitting the barricade first and traveling easily along the path, we find the easiest way out at the time. Even so, that easy route eventually catches up with us. Oftentimes this does a lot more damage than it originally would have if we opened up the conversation days, weeks, or even years before.

People don’t generally like change. And that could be a huge part of why feelings are not always said. Because, if Pandora's box is opened, there is no way of closing it again. That doesn’t always necessarily mean it is a bad thing though. As much as we try to avoid what is and the reality of any situation in relationships, life has a way of making it happen regardless of what you want.

I’m as guilty as the next person. As an extremely sensitive person who does take things very personally, it can be difficult to let my guard down and let the feelings in. But, despite how guarded I want to be, I can’t help but to want to open up. At the end of the day, not allowing vulnerability to be a strength can be a downfall and cause failed relationships in every aspect whether its family, friends, or a romantic partner.

Emotion is what makes us human, in turn not exposing yourself to other people’s feelings or even your own can create insensitivity. Disillusioning yourself away from the thought of emotion in general brings you to a scope of being desensitized to the world around you. This can cause the loss of all kinds of relationships as you lose touch with reality. It also doesn’t help your mental state which will be brutally impacted by holding everything in.

Despite how scary vulnerability will always be, there is a power to understanding it and using it appropriately. You won’t be stuck in unwanted romantic relationships. You won’t see a standstill in friendships. Because unsaid words only eventually cause conflict. And letting the discussion be open and honest, with respect, provides for a fantastic standing in every form of relationship you have. This includes the relationship you have with yourself.

Never be afraid to speak your mind or express your truest feelings, because in the end vulnerability wins.

What else would you like me to write about next ?

• Things about self-reflection
• Experiences in my life/My testimony
• Shadow Work/Spiritual Ideas to help you
• My upcoming novel/works